foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

(via the-ocean-delivers-me)

justnabingaround:

when the wifi finally connects

image

(via the-ocean-delivers-me)

lindsaylohoean:

me when i know a person is adding stuff that didn’t happen into a story just so they look cooler in front of a group of people

image

(via glynbrowntv)

vivalanorge:

England: colour
America: color
England: humour
America: humor
England: flavour
America: flavor
England: what are you doing
America: getting rid of u lmao

(via the-ocean-delivers-me)

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illkim:

Teacher: Sit down until the bell rings

Me:

image

(Source: illkim, via the-ocean-delivers-me)

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